M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
