is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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