just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
