That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
