I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
