I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
