I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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