There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
