did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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