This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
