Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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