I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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