You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
