And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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