i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
