fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
