singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So many bounce houses so little time
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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