Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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