New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
