so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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