You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i was born a porn star she said
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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