i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
