I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
