Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
