Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
