My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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