just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
