i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
