So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She's JV to your varsity
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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