youre lurking in front of me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
