; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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