just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
