Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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