so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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