Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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