Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
