hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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