just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize