Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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