shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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