Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
