Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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