Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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