I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize