why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
