so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
