Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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