did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
North Korea, Best Korea!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
