I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It's just like the Real World with babies
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
