dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
