Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
