just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
