Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
