My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i think my cat just said my name.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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