I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
