Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
