she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
