Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
