I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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