Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
